Sorry if I don’t hit all of the notes you’ve come to expect.

Bachelor in Paradise–final two episodes of the season–

And I just can’t.

I mean, come on: Kendall and fucking Grocery Store Joe!  I was like Nooooooooooo

And Kevin and Astrid. Goddamn it, Kevin, ya big, dumb dope!  80% this plus 20% that equals 100% stupid.

Am I right?

• Cemetery Beach #1 (Image): I&N Demand Warren Ellis and another out-of-this-world premise–a sci-fi twist on Papillon, perhaps?–that’s good enough for me.  Plus: any time I see a title that’s Fill-in-the-blank Beach, I’m taken back to Matthew Arnold’s “Dover Beach,” and I’m filled with a kind of curdled joy, which is burdensome, sure, but is satisfying, too.  The “generations of lunatics,” a phrase borrowed from the Cemetery Beach preview on PreviewsWorld.com reminds–loosely yet lovingly–of the “ignorant armies clash[ing] by night” in Arnold’s lovely yet melancholy lyric poem–an invitation, a commentary, a warning–from 1867.  So, yeah: looking forward to this one–even if “Warren Ellis” is, ultimately, the only legit reason for my forward looking.
  

• Mage: The Hero Denied #12 (Image): I&N Demand Well, look at that: I referenced in my write-up for Batman #54 the glorious green bubbles that caught my eye thirty or so years ago–that drew me to Mage: The Hero Discovered and the adventures of Kevin Matchstick–without having seen the cover to this issue.  Now that’s magic.

• The New World #3 (Image): I&N Demand #2 was fun, fun, fun!  Aleš Kot kicked the conflict into high gear; he pushed the peril to the metal: struck by something undefinable while in the midst of a televised takedown, Stella decides to take a risk, trading a seemingly cushy future for, well, a seemingly mushy fugitive.  Isn’t that how all great love stories begin?  Shifting: Now, I’m not an artist, still I find Tradd Moore’s art humbling.  (Heather Moore’s colors are there to rub it in, ain’t they though?  They force the eyes wider, and, along with the mister’s living, breathing lines, create an immersive experience that is absolutely exhilarating!)  See: each page turn is bigger than the next; and there I am, bearing the weight of the lines and the colors, which support gloriously Kot’s big ideas, and I’m just like Wow.  That’s some spinning-in-your-bed while spinning-some-Floyd-vinyl shit going on.  “Legendary,” indeed.  You know what I need?  I need to see this as a cartoon.  A big-screen motherfucking cartoon movie.  Please make this into a cartoon movie.  Thank you.  Next up: a little surgery.  Goin’ to the scalpel of love…

• Oblivion Song #7 (Image)
• The Wicked + The Divine #39 (Image)
• the seeds #2 (Dark Horse/Berger Books): I&N Demand Loyal readers might remember: I celebrated #1 with a 22 I&N 22; and looking back at the post–proud of that one, for sure!–and at the issue, I’m reminded of the perfection–as seen in the hive, in the perfect-every-time hexagon of the humble honeybee–of the initial offering.  Ann Nocenti’s writing is stinger sharp, piercing the part of us that reads and feels and thinks and looks to connect with another afflicted soul–one driven deeper into the comforting yet conflicting chasm of conspiracy, colored, unfailingly by David Aja, a loud khaki green. Fuck.  I can’t wait to get my hands on this one.

• She Could Fly #3 (Dark Horse/Berger Books): I&N Demand She Could Fly #2 moves– it flies at a pace that reflects well Luna’s undeterred descent into madness, her succumbing to the stressors that surround her, including family, mystery, and–ceiling the deal–gravity.  But she’s not the only one falling: oh no: see, everyone around her–and a significant one who was above her–has fallen or is falling in some way, be it morally, mentally, physically, interpersonally.  Yup: lots of falling.   Any surprise that the issue wraps up in a basement?  Christopher Cantwell’s driving home the point–and is driving it down, down, which will make the rise–there’ll be a rise eventually, right?–that much more satisfying, I’m sure.  Add to the mix the discomfort drawn into the narrative by Martin Morazzo’s hectic panel work, and the result is a trap that, even in the freedom of chaos, feels increasingly claustrophobic.  Bill and Luna might “need to talk,” but, damn it, I need to read.  Gimme #3!

• Catwoman #3 (DC)
• Detective Comics #988 (DC)
• Superman #3 (DC)
• The Amazing Spider-Man #5 (Marvel)
• Daredevil #608 (Marvel)
• Fantastic Four #2 (Marvel)
• Crossed +100: Mimic #5 (Avatar)
• Hot Lunch Special #2 (AfterShock): I&N Demand Well, wasn’t Hot Lunch Special #1 just the biggest surprise?  Hell yeah, it was!  I ate that shit up and loved every crumb.  I was moved to write an inspired 22 I&N 22, and I hope pray expect that Eliot Rahal and Jorge Fornés will move me in much the same manner with this second helping of sandwiches and sumbitches, trucks and ho-lee fucks!
  

• Moth & Whisper #1 (AfterShock)
• Volition #2 (AfterShock)

What are you looking forward to this week?

If you were looking forward to Kendall and Grocery Store Joe getting back together–and, why not, while you’re at it, to Astrid and Kevin getting back together–well, then, fellow citizen of Bachelor Nation, you got your wish.

Turning pages,

Scott